A Little Bit of Humanity
by Kellye G
Summary: They finally manage to make it to safety, and everything seems to be fine until Ellis meets Keith again. Then everything seems to run downhill. -Nick/Ellis, Keith/Ellis, Nick/Keith-
1. Chapter 1

**Don't read the second chapter. It's crap. I'll edit it soon.**

**EDIT: **_**On a dark and stormy night, Kellye checked her emails. On a question from someone as to whether this story was finished or not, I replied that it was "finished enough". That's true: it is. However, there's a lot more to it. There's a lot of plot behind this, a lot of places I wanted it to go and it **_**never did**_**. So how do we move on from here? Well, maybe one day I'll update this. It's one of my favorite works. I love Nick and Ellis despite my lack of playing the video game for a good two years. I might try and rewrite the second chapter then add on what I thought I could do before. My style's improved. My thoughts have improved. I think you may want to check back on this. It's finished, but it's not. It's marked complete while it sits in my head, rotting away, pining for the day it will see the words "the end".**_

_**So my dearest and few readers, remain patient. I'll update this one day. I'll update it soon.**_

**So this turned out completely different from what I had intended. It's a bit of a different view on the 'after' of L4D2. Keith's alive, everything's all hunky-dory, etc. There's parts in Swamp Fever, Hard Rain, and The Parish. :D I will be continuing it, and...now that I think of it, I may put some Nick/Keith in! OMG TEH HAWTNESS. Please read and review! 3**

**A Little Bit of Humanity**

Ellis woke up as his door creaked open. It didn't bother him, not any more. He didn't move as his bed was pushed down and warmth filled the sheets. He felt the cool press of skin against his bare chest, but he didn't look over. Neither of them spoke. It had been like this for so long now. Silence spread out through the black hours, and soon sleep crept back for Ellis.

When the morning finally came, Keith was gone.

* * *

It was another long day through the swamp. Ellis felt the cold tinge of the ankle-deep water. He knew they were wading through blood and death, through innocent lives that had succumbed to the infection. A growl started up, but then it was gone with a singular _pang_. Rochelle killed it. "A safe house..." She murmured, and they all hurried. The sun was fading into the trees, the growls and the yellow eyes growing louder and closer. Everyone settled in for the night. Ellis took the watch, and he stood dutifully by the door, a box of stale cereal in his hand. He ate them absently.

* * *

Hours must have passed by. There was the occasional growl that escaped from a passing infected, the weeping of a witch could be heard not very far off, and everywhere there were dangerous, dead yellow eyes. The glowed palely in the moonlight. Ellis was wide awake. He hadn't slept much since the infection had started up, since he had left Keith. He thought of how much he missed good old Savannah. Even Screaming Oaks had been fun- the zombie killing in a carnival was much like a game to the young 23-year-old. But out here in the deserted swamplands there was nothing. Just infection and mosquitoes and darkness and cold water and death. He remembered how he had taken everything so for granted. He missed the early Sunday mornings as he readied himself for church with Keith and Dave and all their friends, those weekdays working on cars in the garage, the afterglow of a summer afternoon under the peach trees with Keith... Now it seemed like years ago.

He felt a calloused hand wipe away a tear. Ellis wondered when he had started crying. Nick sat beside him, his hand moving down to grasp Ellis's. There was no speaking, there never had been. They just sat together, Nick and Ellis, quietly. Everyone needed a little bit of humanity in a world filled with death. That was how life was now. Ellis breathed in and stared out the window.

The sun began to rise. It was the first time Ellis had ever stayed with anyone until morning.

* * *

Keith tore at Ellis' nerves. Sometimes pretending what happened at night had never happened at all was enough to drive the smiling man insane. He could feel the tears against his skin- wet and warm and salty. He could feel Keith's warmth stretch over him like a blanket. He could feel the, dare he say it, undying love he felt for the sandy-haired man. But every single day at the shop Keith would pretend that it wasn't real, that it was all Ellis' imaginings. Sometimes Ellis even believed it. He would believe it until the time came when Keith would creep into his bed and hold him again.

They were never alone. Sure, they _lived_ in Savannah, but where everyone Ellis knew really resided was a small, run-down little sort of suburb. Ellis could never get Keith alone during the day, and at night the moments were just too precious to waste with useless chatter. So in the end he was stuck. It seemed like he always would be.

* * *

Ellis trudged through the sheets and sheets of rain, his fist connected with Nick's fancy three-thousand dollar suit. He could feel the gentle tug on his shirt as Rochelle shook from the cold and fear. The cries of the witches could be heard everywhere all at once; their sobs wracked and tore away at their sanity, but sanity was better than their flesh. And he shivered. Coach told them to be still, there was another one up ahead. Everyone was tired, the gas was weighing them down, the infection was hurting them all. Carefully, the line of ragged little humans made its way around the sobbing monster. The only thing that made Ellis move forward was the constant, if not blurred, sight of Nick's frazzled hair. It was the only reminder that he needed to live.

* * *

Finally they were alone. The summer air was hot and thick and humid and just like Georgia air. It felt good on Ellis's shirtless chest. He stood on his toes and reached into one of the low-lying branches of a peach tree and plucked two of them down. Keith smiled, stripping off his shirt, too. This trip had been Keith's idea, everything always seemed to be Keith's idea. Ellis didn't mind, though. He liked it when Keith planned things. Most everything that happened turned out to be fun, if just a tad dangerous. Ellis tossed Keith the other peach, bit off a sizable chunk of his, and then he began to fan himself with his hat. The blonde walked over to him and hugged him gently. He kissed Ellis' peach-covered lips. "Hey there, El. I've missed you." Ellis backed away a little, but he didn't fight back. His eyes flashed to his feet and then to Keith's smiling face.

"God ain't gon' appreciate that, ya know."

"Git over 'ere, ya dummy." Keith practically tackled Ellis with a hug. He began to place kissed all over Ellis' blushing face. Ellis kissed back, but not nearly like Keith. He liked it when Keith took control.

He didn't want to be depended on.

* * *

Nick limped along helplessly. Coach and Rochelle had run ahead to the helicopter, leaving the young country boy with the conman. He couldn't do anything but lean on poor Ellis and helplessly shoot the zombies. Hordes and hordes swarmed around him, biting and kicking and screaming. The explosions burned the air around them, and Ellis grabbed Nick and pulled him forward. Bombs shrieked through the air only to hit the ground and explode. Fire burned everything around them, and Ellis pulled Nick forward even further.

They made it off the bridge. Limping, groaning, shooting. The yells of a tank could be heard behind them. Ellis screamed at Nick to hurry; Rochelle and Coach were waiting for them on the helicopter. The further they ran the closer the tank came. The pilot began to lift off, and Ellis jumped. His muscles tensed under the pain of holding onto Nick. T

But they had made it. Coach hefted them up. Everyone smiled, tired and sick of everything. Pain laced itself on Nick's frowning face.

"Thanks, Overalls."

"No problem, Nick."

Ellis shut his eyes and slept.

* * *

Each person was issued a pair of stiff navy sweatpants and a simple, white shirt. Ellis cringed and shrank away from their touches when one of the soldiers tried to get his hat. "No way, Mister! I ain't let nobody touch my hat!" Ellis pushed his hands onto his head in a childlike fashion. The soldier who had been trying to acquire it shrugged and turned away. There was a woman sitting at the front desk. She had a pistol on top, and a shotgun leaned against it casually. Guns were becoming more and more common, it seemed. She wasn't very old, maybe around Nick's age at the most. Nick smiled and walked up to her, realizing he could use his charm, even if he was dirty and hadn't showered in weeks, to worm his way into any of the 'good stuff'. He was unaware of what was 'good' about this place, but maybe an extra ration of cigarettes or a nice tent would be worth it.

"Hey there, sweetie." She glared up to him. Nick shuddered, remembering the weeks before and the witches' red eyes. He continued. "Is there any way my friends and I can-"

"Write your names on this. Put all relationships under the appropriate column. You will be examined, cleaned, and allowed to wear your new clothes. Afterward, you will have an armed escort to the recreational center where you will be introduced to the new life you're going to lead here. Finally, tents will be issued, and you will remain there until the mental examination is scheduled."

She was cold and impersonal. Nick grabbed the clipboard and scribbled his name. He passed it to Rochelle and Rochelle passed it to Coach and then it was in Ellis' hands. He looked at what Nick had written: no relationships. Ellis tried not to let his face betray him as he scribbled down his name. He erased slightly as Nick turned to whisper to Rochelle.

Next to Nick's name, in his neatest handwriting, Ellis wrote 'partner with Ellis', and next to his name, he wrote 'partner with Nick.' He smiled proudly at the memory of one church sermon where the preacher had condemned men being partners with men; he said that was the Devil and only businesses should have partners. Ellis wished he hadn't had to kill the man so he could show him just how wrong he had been.

He handed the woman the clipboard and allowed himself to breathe a little. They had experienced so much in the past few weeks, and he didn't want to be separated from the only man that could cure him of his nightmares.

* * *

It hurt when the new girl moved to town. It hurt worse when everyone in the garage ogled her. It hurt the most when Keith asked her on a date that Friday.

Ellis cried and cried in his room until he fell asleep. Around one in the morning, when he normally would have heard Keith enter his room, there was silence. Ellis cried more.

* * *

The gruel they were served in the morning was hardly worth standing in line for, but everyone was hungry after all they had experienced the past few weeks. Even the plain white porridge was better than stale cereal and canned vegetables and the taste of tears at night. Nick was busy glaring at Ellis; he had seen what the young man had written once they got their tent assignments. "Why'd you do it, Overalls? You could have just as easily put 'brother' or something.

Ellis shook his head, smiling. "Naw, Nick. That wouldn't of worked. 'Cause, you know, me and you sound so different. But they'd believe me if I put we was boyfriends or whatever."

"Yeah, well, what if they don't like queers, smart ass? What if they decide that, since we don't want to repopulate the earth, they don't _need_ us?" Nick sneered and inched up a place in the line. Ellis frowned gently.

"I dunno 'bout you, Nick, but I got me some skills as far as mechanics go. I may never 'ave graduated high school, but man, oh man, I sure can fix a car, or a tractor, or a trailer, an' all that shit. You know, once when garage work was slow-going, I got myself a part time job fixing buildings an' stoves an' shit, an' I made a ton extra money. Got myself my own place after that, I sure did. So even though I am a queer, they have some use for me. I mean, it's not like this place is Georgia, right?"

Nick nodded silently, unsure of how to respond to Ellis' strange ramble. The thing that stood out the most to Nick was the admission. Ellis hadn't said _if _he was a queer, he had said _even though_.

Even though Ellis was a queer...

* * *

"Ellis, we can't be doing this no more, kissin' an' all that shit. I got me a girlfriend now."

"So what am I, then, Keith?" It was hard to keep his voice from shaking, and it was even harder to stop the tears. In the end he failed at this, just as he had apparently failed at keeping his best friend as his boyfriend.

"You're my buddy, Ellis. You gotta realize that all those kisses was just 'cause I was wonderin' what it was like, but you know the good Lord wouldn't want us together."

"So it's because of God?"

"No, it's because you're a man an' I'm a man, and we don't need to go confusin' our roles. If God wanted us to-"

"If God wanted us to fly, he woulda given us wings, so does that make airplanes wrong, Keith? Huh? You think it's God's prerogative to make sure what we do with the people with love is right or not? 'Cause I sure as Hell don't!"

Keith was shocked. Ellis was in tears now, and he turned away. Keith tried to call after him, to take back what he said, to clarify, but Ellis was too far gone. The sobbing man had stopped loving his best friend, had stopped being even remotely close to him in that instant.

His belief in God faded.

* * *

They had been in the camp for two weeks now. Ellis had received the proper counseling, as well as a community where no one was really against gays. He managed to blossom, and the rage that he had taken out on the infected soon subsided.

Ellis had never really realized he was angry. The doctor said it was because he had convinced himself that he was happy, that he was okay. He mentioned that, had Ellis grown up in a not-so-God-fearing place, he probably wouldn't have reacted to the infection as he had. The rage that had built up at being trapped in the South was expressed in the slaughter of the zombies, which explained why he had had so much fun while doing it. Ellis was thankful for the way he was raised. He wasn't stupid; he knew that if he hadn't been so upset he wouldn't have lived.

So now Ellis sat in the waiting room. Everything was quiet and still and peaceful. He read the weekly press paper that Rochelle had found a job in. Ellis didn't look up when the door swung open, he didn't move when someone sat beside him, he didn't react when the man started humming. But the moment that word was uttered he was shocked. He stared at the sandy-haired blonde man with the ocean blue eyes.

"Ellis?" The man said. Ellis could only stare and respond with a single word.

"Keith."

* * *

He didn't want to go to the wedding. He didn't want to see Keith ever again, even though he was forced to every day. But he didn't want to go to the wedding, and Keith, the bastard, knew that. That's why Keith had asked him to be his best man. It was a way to mock him.

No one had suspected anything, ever. After Ellis' breakdown when Keith 'dumped' him, they got along just fine. No one noticed the dimness in Ellis's eyes, or the way he no longer babbled on and on about the fun he and Keith had. No one seemed to notice, and no one seemed to care. Ellis felt alone all the time. When they went to church, Ellis bowed his head and muttered curses to God, when they worked on the cars, Ellis tried to stay away from Keith, and on the summer nights when Ellis would wander between the rows of peach trees, he would cry.

Without Keith, there wasn't a reason to live.

* * *

Nick found Ellis on the cot. He sniffed the air- something was off. It was a putrid stench, and one that had become so a part of life he could barely forget it. The smell was blood.

He rushed to Ellis' side and turned the boy over. Ellis was pale and underneath him was bloody. Nick tried not to throw up as he scooped the younger man into his arms. He calmed himself down and went out of the tent they shared. People stared as he made his way to the clinic. They couldn't see the worry beyond his cool mask.

The nurse looked up and gasped. "What happened?" Nick shook his head, unable to create words without the tears choking him up.

She led him to the back where the doctor was checking on a patient's swollen ankle. The nurse whispered something, the doctor muttered 'suicide', and Nick's heart fell. They instructed him to set Ellis' body on the second table as the doctor washed his hands up. He donned rubber gloves and began to examine Ellis. Nick remained, watching with a cold, dispassionate stare. Why would Ellis do something like this to him? Then the doctor turned around. "He's still alive, I managed to patch him up, but it will take a while for him to get back to normal. Meanwhile, he's definitely going to need therapy every day to keep him from attempting this again. Are you a friend?"

"Um, yeah, we're...dating." It hurt Nick's pride to say that, but if it was for Ellis...

"Ah, well, do you know what could have possibly spawned this sort of action? The infection? How long have you two been in camp?"

"We've been here for about two weeks now, but I don't know why Ellis would do something like this. He's always so cheerful and happy..." Nick sighed. He felt a little dead and very sick.

"Alright. I'm so sorry for this. Why don't you go tell your friends, get something to eat, and we'll call you in when he wakes up. Come back and check on him after dinner. Remember," he glanced down at Nick's name tag, "Nick, he'll be fine. He survived the apocalypse."

"Yeah." Nick turned away. His emotions were shut off. He went back to his tent and sat on the bed. Ellis' sheets had been cleaned off. Nick leaned his head back onto his stiff pillow and closed his eyes. He let it all drift away. Everything turned to black.

* * *

Soon there was a voice outside. It wasn't Coach or Rochelle, but the man still called for Ellis. Nick forced himself up to answer the flap. A tall, skinny kid stood there, peeking inside. "Hey there, mister! Ya know where Ellis is? I ain't seen 'im since this mornin', so I figured I'd check up on 'im. He here?"

"Who are you?"

He scratched his scraggly beard with a frown. "My name's Keith. Ellis an' I use ta be buds, then we kinda got distant. He got real freaked out when I saw him this mornin'. He ran away an' then I like had to hunt 'im down. Reminds me of this one time, me and Ellis was-"

Nick's fist connected with Keith's jaw the moment he began the story. Nick knew it was Keith's fault. He knew. Keith drew back and stared at him. "What in the Hell was _that_ for?"

"You hurt my Ellis, didn't you? It's _your_ fault, isn't it?"

"What's my fault? I ain't done nothing to Ellis!" Nick's breath hitched a little, his eyes were seething with rage. He tugged on Keith by the collar of his plain white t-shirt.

"Ellis tried to _kill_ himself today. Because of you." Nick punched him again. Hard. Keith fell to the ground, wiping blood away from his nose. He looked at Nick with a horror-filled stare. There was disbelief filling his blue eyes, disbelief and fear.

"No! That don't sound like Ellis! Not at all! You gotta be joshin' me." He smiled a little, but it was shaky. Keith didn't believe his own words. Nick eyes turned cold and he went back inside his tent. He slept through the rest of the night.

* * *

Morning came with a slow, cold accuracy. There was barely even a moment before sleep was replaced with Ellis, barely a thought that didn't concern him. Nick sat up groggily, his stomach growled, and he felt guilty. He should have been taking care of Ellis. His head fell into his hands, but he refused to cry. He needed to go check on Ellis. Nick began to wander through the camp without seeing anything. He made it to the medical center, walked inside, and found the nurse from yesterday. She smiled at him. "Hello, Nick. Here to see Ellis?"

She was so calm. Nick nodded. The nurse probably dealt with suicides a lot in the camp. There was a lot to die over. Nick personally felt that, after surviving the Goddamn apocalypse, there was at least something to live for. At least he wasn't dead. And hopefully Ellis wouldn't be, either. She lead him to the back room. Many of the cots weren't being used, aside from someone with a cast on their leg and Ellis.

Oh, Ellis. Nick's heart skipped a beat. It was a small beat, barely even noticeable, but he wasn't going to deny it. Somewhere, in an unimportant part of his mind, he wondered if Coach and Rochelle knew about this.

He looked at Ellis. The young man had a frown on his face, and he pushed a lumpy mush of scrambled eggs around on his plate. Nick smiled. Ellis was still such a child.

The nurse told him he could go and talk to him, and so Nick stalked over quickly, ignoring the stare from the man with the broken leg. "Hey, Overalls. How's it hanging?"

"I hate ya."

Nick raised his eyebrows in shock. "What?"

"Ya fuckin' heard me. Ya coulda let me die in peace like I was gonna, but no. Ya had to go an' bring me here to this Hellhole. I fuckin' hate ya. Leave me alone."

And then he was silent. Nick frowned, a sneer working its way onto his cool features. "Fine, Ellis. Have it your way."

Nick walked out and didn't look back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Woohoo! Chapter two! :D The second installment of my Nick/Ellis fanfiction, thank you very much. This chapter has a little bit of Nick/Keith, but a surprising twist that ultimately leads back to the main pair. Oh, and there's a cliffhanger ending. Yuppers. (lolol, get it?) Nick's last name is utterly stereotypical Italian, but be happy. My dad's original surname for him was Ellis. _ Like, for when they get 'married'. Then Ellis would be Ellis Ellis. My dad is a strange man. **

**About Sydney: Nick's ex-wife, Sydney isn't actually all that ugly like how Nick describes her. She's actually moderately attractive. _BUT_ Nick hates her guts so he doesn't think she's pretty. I guess her personality really shines through with that; I mean, she is such a _bitch_. I love it. Now, she probably won't appear later on in the series since I don't plan on doing anything 'pre-game'. Everything here on out is after game, and mainly in Ellis' POV except for a few parts that are in Nick's describing what he's been up to. You'll understand.  
**

**So read and review, I guess. Tell me what you think, for sure! **

**A Little Bit of Humanity**

Nick held the warmth next to him. It was almost impossible to sleep in such cold weather. He shivered in his thin CEDA-issued wool pajamas. Three months had passed since they had been rescued, three months since his relationships with the only people who mattered in his life started to decay. Three months, and yet he was alright. Nick buried his face into the warm shoulder-blades of his blonde-haired companion. The stiff pajamas scratched him in a semi-comforting fashion. It wasn't the worst of feelings, after all. At least he was warm.

"Hey, Nick," a silent voice whispered in the darkness of their shared tent. "Nick, you awake?"

"Yeah, I'm up." He kissed the nape of the other man's neck.

"I think I love ya."

A smile spread across Nick's features. "I think I love you, too, Keith." He pressed himself back and settled into the darkness.

- - -

God was watching over them in that instant, apparently. If there even _was_ a 'god'. Nick didn't think so, but his damn family and _her_ damn family wouldn't have it any other way. The wedding had to be in the damn church. Damn. That was all he could think of and, frankly, life sucked right now. Nick couldn't stand waiting for something so _awful_ to happen. If he had gotten to have it his way, well, for one, he wouldn't be getting married. But if he _had_ to get married, Nick would have chosen a nice Vegas wedding with gambling and a lot of drinks and women as far as the eye could fucking see. His new wife might not like it much, though. Fuck her. Nick didn't even _want_ to get married to her. He was twenty-one and young and full of life and ready to drink and party.

Damn. She didn't even look _good_ in that dress. Nick shuddered and his best man smiled a little. Nick sneered at his generic face. He hated all of these people.

"At least I'm wearing a suit." He murmured and plastered on one of his smiles. It was that damn smile that got him into this situation, and it would be that damn smile that would somehow get him out.

- - -

Keith held Nick's hand gingerly. The Southern man wasn't used to being able to show his affections in public. Nick smirked as they made their way to the cafeteria. Getting away from Ellis had been hard at first since he still felt a little obliged to him, but when Ellis full-out avoided the ex-conman, Nick shrugged it off. It was around that time when he had found Keith again.

- - -

They had a small park set up for the few young children who had survived the infection. Most of them were happy with their new adopted families (normally the people who had brought them to rescue), and soon forgot about the awful things they had seen. Nick was wandering by it one day, looking for someone with a smoke or _something_, and he had seen Keith. The young hick had a seat on one of the swings. He rocked back and forth gently in the cool November air. Nick's heart had fluttered in his chest at that moment. He looked on as Keith's hair moved against his face, the blonde accenting the light tanned skin so aptly in that one moment in time.

Everything that Ellis had ever meant to him slipped away in that instant.

- - -

Though many stories of Keith had been stuffed through is mind, Nick had never once imagined waking up next to the man. He never really thought of how Keith would smell or how he would look or how everything about him would mean so much. Then he smiled. Keith was so peaceful looking when he was asleep. His long hair fell over the gentle, tanned skin. Nick loved to watch him, but there was something that ached until he felt the dirty crust of guilt enclose him. There was a little voice that screamed this wasn't _real_, that Keith lasted only as a replacement.

There was something in Nick that told him he _needed_ Ellis.

- - -

She was disgusting. Sure, slug a few shots and Sydney could be attractive, but...she certainly wasn't the cream of the crop. She was more like a crappy stuffed animal prize in the bowling alley. Nick walked outside the hotel room for a smoke. It crossed his mind frequently about divorce, namely how long it would take before he could get one without his family thinking poorly of him. Nick aimed for two years. Excuse. They weren't working out. He lifted the cigarette to his lips and took a nice, long drag. The sun was rising on another wretched, lifeless day.

- - -

Nick wondered silently if he _had_ to make eye contact the next morning. He had never been in such a stable relationship before. Even Ellis hadn't been this serious. Their fucks were quick and easy and certainly not the most romantic of things. But what could they have done? So many nights the comforts turned into hugs, the hugs into kisses, and the kisses always ended in something more. Thinking back on it now, Nick missed the gentle feel of Ellis' tears against his silk blue shirt. He missed the nights when they would just hold each other. He missed those things about him.

Keith kissed his lips gently. The stubble on the younger man's face tickled Nick's cheeks. "Good mornin', darlin'." Keith cooed. His fingers slipped between Nick's. He kissed him again. "I tell ya, it's so nice wakin' up next to you in the mornin'."

Nick hid his thoughts behind his smile. He was good at that; it was a part of the job. "Morning, babe," he missed the name he had given Ellis. Overalls was such a sweet thing. "How'd you sleep?" Ellis would have begun talking about his sleep _before_ Nick had even had time to wake up and think. God, he missed Ellis. Keith rambled on a little while, but he stopped soon. Ellis barely ever stopped talking. The noise was good at filling the empty void. Keith didn't provide this for him.

They made their way to breakfast, the eight o'clock one. There was a breakfast every hour between six and ten for all the people who had acquired different jobs in the camp. Nick had hoped Keith wouldn't understand his preference, he hoped Keith would never know. The only thing that got him up in the morning was the thought of getting to _see_ Ellis sitting there alone or with friends, smiling and eating and telling stories about his _two_ ex-boyfriends that everyone seemed to think were only his _friends_, dead from the infection that had scoured the nation. Keith had to leave shortly after they ate since his job required specific times. Everyone knew there wasn't a reason for 'job hours', but it brought a much needed feel of normality to the desolate camp.

Keith kissed him goodbye but with a sullen glance down to Nick's uneaten food. He sighed and stepped away. Nick continued to stare into space.

- - -

"I'm sick of your shit, Nick. I know you fuck other women, asshole!"

"So what, Sydney? You think I _wanted_ to fucking _marry_ your ugly ass? No. Fucking. Way. I would rather stick a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger."

"Why don't you, you mother fucker? Why don't you just take your damn _conning_ with you and fucking LEAVE?"

"Fuck you."

He stormed out of their small apartment. Sydney slammed the door behind him, screaming about how much of a _goddamn dick_ he was. Nick grinned. Two and a half _fucking_ years. He was free.

- - -

Nick hadn't meant to walk up to Ellis. He hadn't meant to say the words that had been drifting through his mind since sometime after they met. Nick recalled when he first heard the song, randomly playing in a casino somewhere that was so vague and familiar that he couldn't quite comprehend it. But here he was, standing in front of Ellis after spending the past three months with the man's ex best friend, ex-lover.

"And I'm a fan of holding hands and letting go. And of being so in love and not let it show."

Ellis eyed him carefully, stood with his fists pressed shakily against the wobbly table, and spoke. "What the _fuck_ do ya mean by that, Nick? I know damn well _you_ ain't no poet."

He began choking on his pride. It was a difficult, angry monster to swallow, but he had to do it. There was this little, tiny thing that wouldn't let its grip on him loosen. Nick needed to tell Ellis. "I don't know what I mean, Ellis. I'm...just here to say...say...."

Nick's gaze shot down. He felt his cheeks grow hot and he knew that he couldn't do this. Every last bit of his pride wished that Ellis would somehow understand. "I'm here to say I'm sorry."

Ellis sneered. Nick was taken aback; it was the first time he had ever seen the young country boy so angry. "So who putchya up ta this? _Keith_? That bastard has been fuckin' _toying_ with me since he broked up with me. I ain't no dummy, Nick. Ya can't fool me." Before Nick had time to even think Ellis was gone. He regretted every moment up to this and wished that tiny little voice would just shut the fuck up.

- - -

_You can touch me, handsome_. Oh, her words had been so pleasant, so very sexy, that Nick hadn't even thought of it. He swallowed the shot of whiskey and turned to her. "My name's Sydney." She blushed pink, the curves of her body accentuated by the cozy red dress that clung to every piece of flesh it was over. Nick had seen better, but _damn_. He was drunk and horny and the other girls in the bar weren't nearly as attractive.

"The name's Nick."

He paid the bill and took her home.

- - -

It was long before Sydney had come into his life that Nick decided he wanted to start conning people and gambling. There was the thrill of the chase, the excitement and the adrenaline of getting exactly what he wanted, and then the nights after: smoking and fucking until early in the morning. The best part was that he was _good_ at it. So when he had met Sydney, her and her complete ugliness, he figured a one-night stand and then he would be rid of her. All the other, more beautiful women, fell for it, oh, but Sydney was_ insane_. She made sure Nick remained her boyfriend, even though the man hated her and mistreated her and cheated on her.

- - -

Nick was in a gay bar. He had been drunk for a while now, and as such he was bar-drifting...again. Nick had never found a problem in men; he would readily admit that most were rather attractive. The additional fact of the matter was that gay men were an untapped conning resource. If he could trick some unlucky, lonely cock-sucker into his bed and grab some money, why wouldn't he?

So it was completely normal that he had ended up here, and it was almost completely normal that he found himself flirting with a _very_ attractive young man. The boy had red hair that fell in lovely curls atop his handsome head. His brilliant green eyes gleamed in the pulsating light of the bar and Nick felt himself hunger for those plump, fresh lips. Nick hadn't tasted anyone but Sydney and he _needed_ something to get his mind off her ugly, horrid body and her awful personality. Jake, if that even was his real name, seemed to be just the guy.

But the longer he flirted, the drunker he got until Nick made the stupid mistake of inviting him to the apartment that he shared with Sydney. Jake, unknowing of Nick's commitment, willingly followed him to the small apartment. Their kisses grew hungry as the night drifted on, and by two in the morning Nick was sitting in bed, the red-head snuggled into his chest, smoking a cigarette. There was a sloppy smile painted on Nick's relaxed face. He didn't hear Sydney opening the door, nor did he hear her walking down the hall to their room. Nick didn't fucking care, not until she came in and saw them.

"What the fucking Hell, Nick!?" She screeched, throwing her purse at his cocky smile. "Who the Hell is that motherfucking _queer_?"

"Whoa, Sydney, calm the fuck down!" Nick scrambled out of bed, still holding the cigarette between his clenched fingers. She eyes his naked body hatefully and _knew_. Nick didn't give a fuck. "What gives you the right to come into _my_ fucking apartment? You're just some stupid bitch that my parents are _forcing_ me to marry."

Sydney screamed and left.

- - -

Nick again smelled the sickening stench of the leftovers of human life- the blood. It was nauseating even in the cold winter day. He stepped into the tent to find white canvas drenched in red. The worries that had been swarming through his mind since he had spoken to Ellis vanished and a new set found their way in. Keith's body lay soaked in his own blood. Nick had to stop himself from throwing up.

- - -

There weren't very many people in the camps. Even the military had mostly all left to go kill off the final strains of infection. So it was no surprise that many people stared at Nick. They all knew him, knew what he was like, knew about his relationship with Keith. Not many people liked him, of course, but Nick didn't like very many people. Still, the complete and total lack of any sort of comfort, not even second glances or the word sorry uttered from the lips of faceless individuals got to him. A lot of people attended the cremation, though. A lot of people liked Keith.

Ellis was nowhere to be found. Nick made his way to his tent- completely clean- and sat on the only bed. Even Keith was better than nothing. But...what had he done to deserve all of this? He had fought the infection well enough, managed to keep everyone alive, helped out at the camp, pretty much abstained through everything,. He had even tried to get Ellis out of his mounting depression before he was pushed away. And even then he had managed to find love in Keith.

Oh, Keith.

He must have heard what Nick had said to Ellis at breakfast. He must have.

Nick had his head in his hands. His breathing grew steady as his brain pounded against his skull. Soon after he found himself passed out on his cot, and then he was awake again. A man stood above him, and, ever so gently, kissed his agape mouth. "I missed you, Nick. Missed ya more than anythang."

"I've missed you too, Ellis."

- - -

He awoke again with lightly curled brown hair under his nose. The cold didn't seem to penetrate their shared tent. The death that had existed earlier seemed gone, years away. All Nick could do was gaze down at the single tanned hand that play with his black chest hair. The familiar feeling of Ellis' stubble on him was so comforting. He buried his face into Ellis' hair and stopped himself from crying.

This was how everything was supposed to be.

- - -

They sat on opposite sides of the table, glares being exchanged in the place of words. Sydney had grown larger and larger by the day; she should have known what Nick was going to do. But there was this smug look she always had as if this was all part of her plan. She knew that they were going to divorce eventually, she knew that Nick would cheat on her every chance he got. She knew. Sydney also knew that Nick couldn't bear her presence, and the nights he couldn't escape, the days he couldn't escape, he would suffer and suffer well. She seemed to enjoy this brand of sadism.

He hated her.

- - -

Questioning gazes were all Nick saw for the next month. Keith's death had stirred the populace; it had been a while since any suicides. Everyone wondered what was up with Nick. The man didn't seem even slightly put off by the death of his boyfriend. Nick never talked about it. The conman simply smoked his cigarettes outside his tent and rekindled his friendship with the survivors that had helped him stay alive during those Hellish months the last autumn.

Nick began to wonder how long he was supposed to wait until it was proper for him to move on, and ask Ellis on the date he had wanted to go on since the two first locked eyes.

- - -

A month passed, and Nick could not _wait_ any longer. He wandered over to their table during dinner, helpless as he listened to Ellis sum up a joke. "...an' so the cheeseburger said ta the hotdawg-"

"Go on a date with me, Ellis. I fucking love you. In fact, I've loved you since you were putting bullets in all of those Goddamned zombies. I have loved you and missed you and wished every single moment that we were apart we weren't."

The people in the cafeteria turned around in shock. They couldn't believe what they had heard. Even Rochelle and Coach stared in shock. Ellis couldn't help his sheepish grin, but as he looked up to Nick, they both knew their petty little fight was over. Everything, every single thing that had happened, was behind them.

- - -

Now it was nearing the four-month mark since Keith's suicide. They had been in the camp for over half a year now. Everything was going alright and most people had stopped noticing anything strange. Ellis introduced Nick to his friends and finally, _finally_, Nick managed to come out of his shell and be friendly.

It was no surprise that it had to go wrong. All wrong. Completely wrong.

They came to him in the night. The military said they 'knew about' Nick before the infection, and they were willing to use that against him if he didn't help. They whispered this as a gun was pointed to Ellis' head. What could he do but agree and follow?

- - -

There were eleven other people in the room, most of which were rough-looking characters that Nick certainly didn't want to be with. He didn't see how the military had placed him with these _freaks_. Why, Nick was a conman; he had only been in prison a few times for tax evasion and other money issues. Maybe a few robberies. He certainly didn't fit in with people that looked and smelled and talked as if they were murderers. They called out the names of the others and, one by one, the men and single woman went up to the soldier.

"Scapolei, Nicolas." Nick grimaced as he heard his last name in such an official, monotonous voice. "Come to the front. Your number will be checked, your assignment given, and then you will be issued your gear." Nick felt his feet move numbly to the front of the line. Eyes glazed over in utter hatred followed him. How he wished his life had ended at the hands of a zombie. How he wished.

But wishing couldn't save him now.

- - -

Ellis opened his eyes to a fresh spring morning. Everything was calm and peaceful. He looked over to where Nick had been for the past two months and smiled, expecting the conman to be fast asleep, his hair in a mess around his face just like always. Ellis moved to kiss him on the cheek, but he met only air. He reacted with quick, practiced precision. His issued sweatpants made their way up to his waist, his t-shirt was pulled over his head, and his hat set in place.

Then he was out the flap, fast as a horse. He went to the cafeteria first, searched. Then Ellis looked everywhere, scoured each and every tent up and down in search of Nick. But the man wasn't anywhere. Defeated, Ellis returned and sat with Coach and Rochelle. They knew something was up. Rochelle tried to get it out of him, but Ellis was silent.

He knew.

Nick was gone.


End file.
